Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
