If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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