Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The feeling are messing with the penis
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
