I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
