What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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