just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize