So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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