Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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