Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize