drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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