There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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