How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I cut my penus on the lid.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
