she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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