I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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