why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
