i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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