brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Enjoy the penises
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
