sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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