Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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