And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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