Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
