Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
