she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize