I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
