You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
