she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
