you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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