What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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