This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
