1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
