apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
