Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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