i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize