I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the day after is always just damage control
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
