I hate your face
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize