oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
