I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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