please come you make the beer taste better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
