Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
