yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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