Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
