That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
