And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
