her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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