Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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