Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
