How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
