My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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