I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
