Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
