Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
