Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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