the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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