I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
