someone owes me an orgasm
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
