Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
