and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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