We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
