I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
