i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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